Doubt - Khepri (Length)

Post Reply
Pohizzzle
Pioneer
Posts: 488
Joined: Thu Jan 15, 2015 11:46 pm

Doubt - Khepri (Length)

Post by Pohizzzle » Wed Feb 06, 2019 11:36 pm

Salutations Artemis Whatever the rest of your name is,

I should really come up with a family name for myself. In four years no one has asked me for it, but it does seem a thing I should have. I’m thinking “Kheperson.” At first I thought it ridiculous, but then I remembered my name is already Khepri, so why the devil not?

I write you today to express my feelings and for that I apologize. For a long time I have struggled to help others. I have always believed it was my purpose in this world. My concept of helping others has shifted over the years.

In my youth I was a very pious man. I suppose I still am. I knew then how all of creation was organized. I knew what was good and right. I knew the path of the righteous. I KNEW these things. I walked his path and dragged others with me. I was helping them. Mine was the road to heaven and I walked it never once looking left or right, much less behind me. My destination was his kingdom. I knew I was right. I knew I was good. I was, of course, wrong. It took but one terrible moment in time the shred me of these chains of faith in which I had myself bound. This led me down a different road which I embraced with equal vigor...but what then is my belief and service worth if it can be so easily abandoned and replaced?

I have lost two more I care about. I thought initially to write “cared” but that would not be correct. The love lingers still. I loved and still love them not as dearly as another, but in their story I for the first time see my reflection in their pool of downfall. Is that a fair and pretty metaphor or am I reaching too far? I should read more books.

I had always encouraged them. They are dead now, dead of my love. Dead of our love, perhaps. I believe they would be dead still without me, but I believed truly I was helping them down the path of enlightenment, the path of truth. I knew I was. Strange how similar these facts appear now.

What then is our purpose? What good or truth is there in a corpse? Loss, pain, suffering, despair. All these shed us of our chains. But what of those who shed for us?! Are they spent coin, tolls paid on the road of our salvation and nothing more? Are they not souls to be treasured themselves? When they die have we not failed at our very core as a people? How dare we accept these losses? How dare we be flippant at anyone’s demise?

How long have we existed? How long have we struggled and how much have we lost? Is our reliance on these old ways holding us back, as my reliance on my old faith held me back so many years ago? Why do we lead others to so often to death and not destruction? Why do we mix so casually the fatal with the foolish? How have we not yet discovered a better way? As we rail against the common dogmas do we not lock ourselves within our own?

My friend, I beg you. I need help. I need guidance. I need to speak with someone who I need not caution my words against. I had once a woman who knew my heart. A woman who could pluck out my eye
Khepri stops and stares a moment at the meandering thoughts placed on the paper before him. He frowns at the now tear-stained document and wipes away water from his face. He places the letter beneath the sheet tightly wrapped around his bed, no longer wishing to acknowledge it but also unable to rid himself of it. He takes a new sheet of paper and begins writing.
Salutations Artemis Whatever the rest of your name is,

I should really come up with a family name for myself. In four years no one has asked me for it, but it does seem a thing I should have. I’m thinking “Kheperson.” At first I thought it ridiculous, but then I remembered my name is already Khepri, so why the devil not?

I am well. Things are quiet and mournful here in Quarry Creek as we struggle to live our lives in the wake of recent loss. I have faith and it will see me through. I pray and know through Him I can help others find their own way in this dark time.

Please give my regards to the others. I miss you all and hope to visit again soon.

Yours,
Khepri

Patricia
Check-In
Check-In
Posts: 322
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 10:01 am

Re: Doubt - Khepri (Length)

Post by Patricia » Sat Apr 13, 2019 9:22 pm

++xp

Post Reply