Why She is Lost and not just Gone (length)

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Why She is Lost and not just Gone (length)

Post by Chris » Sun Sep 08, 2019 8:10 pm

It still hadn’t really sunk in for Aaron, but it was true nevertheless.

Keyara was gone.

Keyara would never again threaten to serve only beans as a way to reign in Aaron’s trickster tendencies.

Keyara would never again be there calmly making her way through an intense battle giving him a visual reminder to keep his cool and ensure that he was thinking his way through the chaos.

Keyara would no longer be there to help him understand some strange new Homid or human tendency that just didn’t make sense to his Ursus brain.

Keyara would never again be there to be his big sister, even though he had passed her in Rank years ago, and passed her in size years before that, she had always been his big sister.

Keyara would never again sit with him observing the town go by as the shared the seemingly endless and wondrous serious of snacks that magically appeared from her bag.

Keyara was gone.

Keyara had sacrificed herself to accomplish something extraordinary. And she had done so with premeditation. Enough so that she had written goodbyes and made plans to have them delivered.

That wasn’t a surprise though, not really. Aaron had long suspected that Keyara wouldn’t outlive him even though he was the Uzmati. She had always been so deeply connected to so many things, and she had been the one to ingrain the concepts of sacrifice and responsibility into Aaron not too many years ago.

So Keyara’s death was a sad thing for Aaron, but the mere fact of her passing, and the fact that he would not see her or speak to her again was not the thing that gave him grief. Gave him loss.

No, the thing that sent waves of grief over Aaron whenever he thought about the subject was something else entirely.

What tore Aaron apart were the overtones of despair and loss he picked up from her letters and from what he heard of events while he had been away.

Keyara, who had been rooted in the land and who had stayed in the same place as long as he could remember. Keyara, who had stayed with the same group of natives, protecting, nurturing, healing and teaching them for decades. Keyara, whose very identity seemed to be bound up in the fact that she belonged here. Keyara who had multi-generational ties with the Alcalde’s family, and such close ties to Rodrigo.

That Keyara seemed to have fallen into the feeling that she did not belong here any more. She seemed to have felt that she was no longer needed, that her duties here were done.

Aaron had tried, but quite literally could not imagine a Keyara without a rock solid, calmly immovable, unshakeable sense of where she belonged and what she was supposed to do.

It was trying to imagine that change in her that truly gave him a sense of loss. It was the fact that he had not been there to comfort her through that feeling that gave him loss.

Keyara was dead and that meant that Aaron would never see Keyara again. But that Keyara seemed to have felt that she was no longer needed, that her work was done.


That was what struck Aaron again and again every time he thought about it. That was what struck him with the aching hollow emptiness of loss.

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Re: Why She is Lost and not just Gone (length)

Post by Lindsay » Mon Sep 09, 2019 6:46 am

This made me weep

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Re: Why She is Lost and not just Gone (length)

Post by Patricia » Mon Sep 09, 2019 6:58 pm


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